Again!

Here we go again. Our daughter is now 15 months old. We are so blessed to have her. Even with all we went through, it has all been so worth it to have her as a part of our family. We don't want to be greedy, but we do want more children. Both Doug and I have siblings, and we cherish those relationships. We were lucky enough to have 3 embryos left, so we have decided to do a frozen embryo transfer.

Today (June 11), my medication came in. Last time, I was at my sister's house when my meds came in, and my hubby was camping.

The.
Box.
Was.
Huge.

It was filled to the brim with needles. Some very BIG needles. Some small (but needles nonetheless). And lots of complicated medications. I was overwhelmed. I sat on the floor on my blanket of fertility meds and sobbed. I scared my little niece, who saw me crying and ran to alert my sister. I watch the training videos about 20 times, and then my sister and I tried to do the first injection. It was laughable, if it hadn't been so scary.

Today's box was much smaller. Since it is a frozen embryo transfer (FET), there are no follicle stimulation medications. I'm cool with that. There are, however, 56 estrogen patches. That is new to me. This is an insane amount of patches. When women go through menopause, they use 1 patch per month. I'll be using 56 in a matter of a few weeks or so. 

It's so much easier this time, knowing what to expect with the meds.  I'm still not thrilled about the injections and the bruising and the mood swings, but I've been here before. And I'll do anything to bring my babies home. 

I'm trying not to overthink the process and get stuck in the "what-ifs". I also don't want to be naive and assume that everything will go according to plan.  I want to remain hopeful, but thankful for what I have. Because I am. And I am blessed beyond measure.